The Battle Beast And Barbie

The Battle Beast And Barbie
by Michael Mark & Tom Chapin
© HCD Music & The Last Music Co. (ASCAP)

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh. Ooh ooh ooh ooh.
Ooh ooh ooh doo doo. (Doo doo doo doo doo.)
She was just like the girl next door if you live next to a factory
That makes plastic toys for girls and boys,
Call her “Barbie” (Doo doo doo doo doo.)
He was a mutant metal monster from the wrong end of the galaxy.
They met by accident, they fell in love, the Battle Beast and Barbie.

From the moment that she saw his face
Come screaming in from outer space
She knew somehow that it was meant to be.
She said, “He’s a rebel from Vega Two
But I love him ‘cause his heart is true.
The Battle Beast is everything to me.”
The Battle Beast and Barbie.

She would wait at the edge of town dressed in her best acrylic gown,
She’d jump into his Starslasher and ride.
He’d tear the universe apart and melt her little plastic heart:
No one had ever made her feel so real inside.

But her Daddy said, “You can’t see him no more!”
And her Mama said, “What about that nice boy Ken next door?
I thought you liked him. You, you said you liked him!”
Barbie said, “Oh Mom...”

And Ken said, “Barbara, I’d do anything for you.”
And “This is just some kind of a silly phase you’re going through.
Will you go with me to the prom? She’ll go with me.”
But Barbie just turned away.

Well the night of the prom the gym was packed,
All filled with noise and light,
And all the dolls were asking Ken, “Where’s Barbie?”
Then the music stopped and the building shook
And a howling split the night.
And the doors blew down and there they stood:
The Battle Beast and Barbie.

Well she looked so perfect all pink and white,
And he was a mutant monster dark as the night.
The crowd fell back with a gasp of fear.
Then Ken stepped out on the parquet floor.
He said, “I just can’t take this any more.
You! We don’t want your kind around here!”

Barbie said, “Wait! Wait! You don’t understand!”
And then she saw the Droid-void in his hand.
She cried “No, Ken, no!” as he slammed the batteries home.
His aim was true. His aim was straight.
The dial was set on disintegrate.
He vaporized that mutants’ heart of chrome.

Barbie cradled the Beast against her breast
As smoke rose faintly from his chest.
Somewhere in the night a church bell chimed.
She met his blue metallic stare,
He ran his claw through her platinum hair.
He whispered, “I guess we just ran out of time.”

From the moment that she saw his face
Come screaming in from outer space
She knew somehow that it was meant to be.
She said, “He’s a rebel from Vega Two
But I loved him and he loved me too!
The Battle Beast was everything to me.”
The Battle Beast and Barbie

This song appears on Tom Chapin's So Nice To Come Home CD.

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