Princess Di’s Distress

Princess Di’s Distress
by John Forster & Tom Chapin
© 1989 Limousine Music Co. & The Last Music Co. (ASCAP)

Princess Di held up her Royal Dish
And said, “I’d like another potato knish.”
But when she took a bite she said,
“Oh dear—HIC!
I have the—HIC!—I fear.”
She had the—HIC! She had the—HIC!
The Royal—HIC!
And she did not know what to do.
She held her breath—HIC!
Counted to ten—HIC!,
But nothing—HIC!—worked.
Oh what a Royal Stew.

A Footman heard Her Highness’ distress
And brought some water
From the Royal Mess.
She raised her glass and took a dainty slug.
GLUG. GLUG.
“That’s got it—HIC!—Oh dear.”
She drank it. GLUG—HIC!
She drank it. GLUG—HIC!
“Oh Footman... ” GLUG—HIC!
“You’d better bring the other jug.”
They brought it. GLUG—HIC!
She slugged it. GLUG—HIC!
GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG.
GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG.
AAAH!

Suddenly the Footman let one fly—HIC!!!
It shocked the Queen but not our Princess Di,
Who opened up the Palace Fireplug
And filled her coffee mug.
“Here Footman.” GLUG—HIC!
He chugged it. GLUG—HIC!
“I’m sorry... ” GLUG—HIC!
“I think I’ll need the other jug.”
She brought it. GLUG—HIC!
“God bless you... ” GLUG—HIC!
“Your Highness!”
GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG.
GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG. GLUG.
AAAH!

Now we’re not royal, you and I.
But in the big things
We are just like Princess Di:
She gets the—HIC! We get the—HIC!
The Royal—HIC!
And we do not know what to do.
We grab a jug. GLUG! We take a slug. GLUG!
And then we GLUG, GLUG on and on and on,
GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG
’Til our hiccups—AAAH!—are gone!
Like a burger, like a hot dog, like a side of fries.

This song appears on Tom Chapin's Moonboat CD.

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